• Julie B Jacobsen

Comparison Part 2: Plain Spoken

Updated: Nov 14, 2019

I sleep with a clipboard. It’s not actually in bed with me, but it is leaning within arm’s reach. I do this because the space between being asleep and being awake has long been a time of creative inspiration for me. Being in the middle of a writing project coupled with hot flashes, you can add to that the hours between 3:00 and 5:00 am. Here’s a little 3:00 am zinger that came to me in recent months, please note the quotation marks:

“Comparison and Jealousy are not the same thing, but they walk shoulder to shoulder, and it doesn’t take much to get them to hold hands. When that happens, they walk as one.

I advise you to not hold hands with either of them or soon you will walk with both. Then whatever creativity, productivity, or intention meant for your life will shut down because you’ll be too busy coddling the lies:

I’m not good enough.

I lack ___. [insert magic ingredient here]

God plays favorites.”

Let that sink in a little before reading any further.

These thoughts came to me shockingly complete, yet not out of the blue. I’ve been slapping away the hands of Comparison and Jealousy for most of my life, but they have been grabbing me with force since I decided to write my story. However God is good, Dear Reader, and can use any struggle or circumstance to strengthen us, if we let Him.

One mitigating circumstance for me is my friend, Sara. First, let me go on public record in declaring that I love Sara! She is creative, and bold, and disciplined, and one of the greatest lovers of God and people that I know. Sara is an artist for God.

She paints. I write. That’s cool. Then God called her to write as well, which felt uncool. I have been working on my first draft for more than 2 years but in half that time, Sara has not only written but also edited, published, and launched her own memoir. [Her story inspires, by the way, and you should all read it]

My reaction?

“I’m not good enough.” There are people like my friend, and like a slew of other authors I follow on social media, who do this thing better and faster than me, and whose lives are far more interesting on the page than my own. There’s nothing unique about my story. I feel insignificant. The work stalls.

“I lack.” I have no real skills and no training to speak of. I’m trying to learn as I go, but writing is hard work and sometimes I avoid it. If only I were more disciplined, I could be done by now. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this at all. I feel defeated. The work stops.

“God plays favorites.” If only I were more like Sara, or Lisa Terkeurst, or Beth Moore, maybe God would like me better. If I started serving at my church again, or went to a different church, God might bless the work of my hands and, you know, like me better. I feel alone. I hide.

And isn’t that the plan of the Liar all along, to isolate us from others, bring distance between ourselves and God, and destroy the good work God has planned for us to do? I just hate that old snake!

Here’s what I have learned: what happens in the battlefield of the mind affects everything else we do. In simple terms, what we believe dictates how we will act, and the only way we can battle the Liar is to fight back with God’s Truth.

Truth: No human being is perfect, but God is and He loves us just the way we are. In fact, He calls us to do impossible things so we depend upon Him to get the job done. In our weakness He is strong, then everybody says, “Look what God did!”

Truth: I am a child of God, created in His image, rescued by the blood of His Son, and empowered by His Spirit. I have everything I need to navigate this life and my current assignment. Even in my struggle, I am attuning my ear to Him and learning to obey with patience. It’s all good.

Truth: God is God and I am not. I trust Him with the big picture, believing His intentions towards me are good and His plans for me bring hope. Most of all, I trust that His love for me is BIG! As is His love for Sara, Lisa Terkeurst, and Beth Moore.

As is His love for you.

So I will keep stomping the snake’s head with the truth of God until that liar lay dead in the grass. I will stay the course. I will do my part and trust God with the rest. And I will celebrate the good He displays in the lives of others, especially my friends.

Time for me to get back to work!

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

My arsenal of truth always needs a refill. Please sound off in the comments below letting us know what truths you carry into battle.

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